Personal Train This

My gym offers a free session with a personal trainer. It should have come with a warning.

I've never met with a personal trainer, unless you count the time I worked out with my friend Gabrielle who was a personal trainer at that time...she too should have come with a warning label. There is a reason why that woman has 0% body fat and a body made for the cover of Fitness or Shape magazine. I couldn't walk or cross my legs without assistance for 4 days after that workout.

Today's training session should have had a different type of warning, a may-be-hazardous-to-your-self-esteem warning. I must admit, the morning had started out rough so maybe I was more sensitive than usual. My son is now going to a new school that requires a commute so we have to get up really early. Some people are morning people, some people simply accept what they need to do, some people adjust to getting up early. I am not some people. I hate waking up with an alarm. I hate getting out of a warm bed. I hate waking up my young son from a deep sleep to be yelled at because he doesn't want to get up either. We are quite the 'morning monsters' my son and I.

Once in the car, we usually seem to settle ourselves into what the day will bring. Today, however, I only had one cup of coffee and I could sense that my cooping skills weren't at peak performance.

I don't know what I thought I was going to find out at the free personal training session, maybe I had hoped this person would have some magic answer for me...maybe I was hoping he would say "Yes, you can continue being a lazy lump and eat nachos at 9:00 at night and by simply paying for this gym membership, you will become a swimsuit model". I'll save you the suspense, he did NOT say that and that is when the lack of coffee kicked in.

A battery of difficult questions berated me... "What are your weight goals? When do you like to work out? How often are you working out now? How is your diet? What weight training do you incorporate? ..." blah blah blah. I sheepishly tried to answer these personal jabs disguised as questions and realized I was going to have to lie. When do I LIKE to work out??? Uhhhh...uhhhhh...is this a trick question? I don't LIKE to work out! "Morning" I replied. WOW, really? Me, the lady who hates to get out of bed, just told this guy I liked to work out in the morning. Great start.

After a few more minutes of trying to suck in my stomach fat to flatten out my latex shirt, this guy looks me up and down and says "How old are you? I'd guess about 36." I was super impressed and said so to which he admitted that my birth date was in the file. Was this suppose to be funny? Ahhh great, I got a jokester.

Then Mr. Funny Man stopped being funny. That creep made me get on the scale. Ya, I know, can you believe it?! I think all the color went out of my face. But before I knew it I not only knew my weight, but I also knew my fat percentage. Lets just say I am noooooooooo where near my friend Gabrielle's percentage. After that complete blow to my psyche, he made me do exercises. Hello, I need counseling after that news not torture!

Did I mention that he also took my phone from me? He said it would be a distraction. Creep.

After a sad workout (it's difficult to run or lift weights when you are depressed) I took my soggy self to the car and cried.

I don't think I like personal training.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com