As the dust settles after the race, everything comes into focus. The constant questioning during training "why am I doing this" finally has an answer, and the answer is so that I can feel like a badass. Was I the fastest person there? No, not by a long shot. But I bested my own time by a lot, I hit my goal time and felt great after the race. All the sweat, tears and screaming were worth it.
The ABQ half marathon was my 2nd half and happened to be almost 4 years to the date after my 1st. As I mentioned, I had a PR (personal record). I wanted to hit a 2:11, I made it in 2:12, an absolute victory. I worked so damn hard and was so fearful and stressed that I wasn't going to be able to do it, that I barely slept the night before and had more anxiety than any other race I've ever run. But once the bullhorn blew and the race started, the training took over and auto pilot kicked in. My husband's coaching advice rang in my ears of how to approach the race, at what miles to hold back and at what miles to push. As I hit 10 miles, tired, I realized I was going to make my secondary goal (best advice I ever got was to set a 2nd goal so you don't feel like a looser if you don't hit your 1st) which was a time of 2:15. I heard my husband's voice again telling me to give it all I've got at the end and I managed to close in on my 1st goal time and I literally sprinted across the finish line. The look of pride and surprise on my husband's face as he saw me running full blast toward the finish was incredible. The feeling of accomplishing my goal that I worked so incredibly hard for was, well... beautiful. And as I heard the bing of my race chip cross the line, I felt the dizzy swirl in my head of the immense effort I just gave and a sense of amazement at my own ability. It shocked me. I felt the arms of my young son crash into me as he squealed in delight "mama you did it!" and a beaming little face tilted up to me full of pride. It became apparent at that moment that I want to raise my son knowing that I am more than just his mom, I'm someone that can do incredible things when I put my mind to it. I want him to know that he can accomplish anything he sets his mind to and the way I'm going to do that is by setting the example.
Another couple of woman are setting the example in my family as well, my mom and sister. These ladies ran the ABQ half as their very 1st half marathon and blew me away. In particular, my mom's experience rocked us. A half marathon is 13.1 miles and requires heavy training, if you are training with a goal in mind, it is brutal training. A half is a big deal. An avid NOT runner, my mom went from sofa to a half marathon in 16 weeks and finished strong. Her training, like all training it seems, was full of agony, despair and fear. Ahhh the love of running right? She was plagued with injury and self doubt, but she mustered an unfathomable amount of grit to not simply complete the half, but make what sounded like a end-of-the-rainbow goal time. To see her cross that finish line with a 2:56 was an unreal experience. There are life changing events that occur in our lives and this was one of them for her, and I got to be there to witness it. I realized, as her daughter, to have this feeling of pride and wonderment for your parent is extraordinary. She has always been an incredible woman and a stellar mother, but this was a new side of her, a side that brought me to tears with the complexity of feelings and awe. It was a very emotional moment.
So what's next? My mom and sister are going to train for another race, even my son is excited to train for a 5K at the age of 7! My "coach" is training for a 50K, he has stepped from crazy runner to certifiable Ultra Runner, and as for me, my training for this half, is actually a step in the training for a full Marathon in the fall. This will be my 2nd full Marathon and of course I have a time in mind that I want to hit. I must admit that as I successfully place a check mark next to this recent goal and this race, I look to the future with some dread...and a little excitement. The race is the pay off to all that hard work. The race and the sense of wonder for your own personal power. It is a magical moment and it is addictive.
Oh and we always celebrate with several bottles of exceptional wine...which might be my real motivation.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
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