Well, here I am, it's the middle of the night and I can't sleep. I would normally chastise my young son for being up messing around, tell him he just needs to lay in bed and at least let his body rest, but my theories on sleep are far from my thoughts tonight. Tonight I am full of anxiety.
My half marathon race is on Saturday. You'd think that having run a full Marathon that this wouldn't faze me, in fact I ran 14 miles twice during this training (a half is 13.1 miles), but the trick about running is that you are always in a race against yourself. Always trying to best your own time, finish feeling stronger. The training has pushed you hard and you want to somehow prove that all this hard work wasn't totally crazy...as you sit at your computer in the middle of the night...totally crazy.
Side note on training and crazy: there is a fun by product of pushing your body to ridiculous limits... starvation. There is an instinctual thing that happens that takes you from normal person to the depths of rabid hunger (I don't actually know, are you hungry if you are rabid?). Suddenly you fear the real chance that you might bite people should they stray too close before you've been feed...which needs to happen constantly. Forget weight loss when you are training, I have gained weight with every race. Your body simply freaks out thinking you are trying to kill it and it decides it needs food in the worst way. I mention this as I chew baby carrots like a beaver on crack. Are you getting the crazy scene going on tonight?
This race has been a little weird partly because I've been so public about it and that it is here in my home state, which means a lot of people will be joining me at this race. Writing about my training has inspired a lot of people to train and run for the 1st time, it has inspired people that haven't run in a long time to get back out there and oddly enough, it has inspired people to want to beat me. I offer a solid congratulations to all those wanting to literally "race" me because I am a deathly (new word?) slow runner and racing me is a joke, you will beat me. But with this race, I somehow feel responsible for getting all these people out there running...running is terrible, I'm so sorry people. Running also isn't about an actual race for me, it isn't for most people which is why I always find it funny when people ask me if I think I will win. No I don't plan to win, out of the hundreds or thousands of people running the various races I enter, I plan to finish, I plan to best myself, I plan to... not die.
So...I sign off tonight with the wish that when I write you again, it will be with happy news. I also wish I had drank more wine, seems I can't sleep without my usual "wine tank" full.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
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