Maybe it was that I was listening to a TED Talks about being happy that reminded me to be in the moment and be grateful. Maybe it was that it is my taper and I didn't have to slog out an obscene number of miles. The truth is I don't know. I don't know what the secret to running is. I don't think it is fair that I have worked so hard year after year and never got those cherished endorphins science is always talking about. Is my body broken?
Regardless, I have started to seek running. Like most people these days, our lives are a web of work and family duties, bills to pay and questions needing answers. Some days, days like today, it feels suffocating. My compulsive, anxiety prone, high achiever personality can lock me in a room with no windows and only my tweaker thoughts to keep me company. Today, I am struggling with issues involving my special needs son. When my son comes up, everything in me shoots to red alert and I obsess over how to fix, solve or kill the source of my worry with my child. I know, it IS exhausting being me. But today, in the depth of researching my latest issue regarding my son, I decided to stop and go for my run.
I stopped obsessing over my child...and went for a run.
This was huge.
Something about the actual physical pain of running, the simpleness of the act, the quite rhythm of your breathing...well unless you are me, then there is the loud panting mixed with whines and strange grunts...but you get the idea, it is calming. I didn't solve the current issue I am grappling with, but I had the space to simply BE. Maybe this is why I run.
And...sometimes you just need a damn glass of wine!
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
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