There is a term in running called "bonking" and it refers to what happens when you "hit the wall". I have written about hitting the wall before in my previous training (see The Wall ), but I'm thinking it wasn't truly THE WALL. Maybe it was a door, it hurts really bad when you slam your face into a closed door, so maybe that was what I had experienced? Friday, I actually hit THE WALL, you know, a solid surface that you can not get past, ya one of those...I smashed my entire body really hard into the running wall.
When I decided on the course for my 14 mile run, I thought of a beautiful day spent looking out over one of the most stunning areas of Northern New Mexico. I pictured the higher elevation giving me a little reprieve from the heat of the day. I thought about what a wonderful run it would be. What I did NOT think about was that in order to get up to the scenic overlook and high altitude breeze, I would need to scale steep hills. These hills that climbed over several miles, quickly dipped into valleys and then climbed severely higher after that. This was a VERY challenging course and should not be attempting by anyone...ever.
The morning of the incident (also called my long run), I woke to crushing menstrual cramps. My born-to-run hubby jumped out of bed and hit the road leaving instruction of where to park the car and meet him so that I could run my 14 miles as the last of his 21. I could see I didn't have a choice about whether I was running or not as the timer he set for me ticked down the time till I had to leave. An hour later, a mostly in check hemorrhaging and a kickin hang over knocking my brain into my skull, I drove out to meet my husband.
A quick insert here: DON'T STAY UP LATE DRINKING WITH YOUR ADORABLE HUSBAND THE NIGHT BEFORE A LONG RUN!!!!!
As the run started, determined as ever to make the required miles, I set my mind on the beautiful forest that boarded the road. I looked to the distance eager to see the charming town of Truchas again. But as the miles stretched ahead, straight up the curving road, I realized this was not going to be easy. Mile after mile forcing my distressed body up grueling inclines only to hit a steep decent into a valley that drove you miles up another hill on the other side. This was going to be a painful run.
Perhaps it is because I am stronger on this training then I have been on previous ones, or maybe I've started and stopped so many times now that my resolve is more in place, but I have started to run better, "more efficiently" as my coach husband says, and that means I am able to run down hills faster...which also means no reprieve, your heart rate stays high and the down hills are just as bad as the up hills. Which means 14 miles on a steep course serious sucks ass, the entire way.
I do have to say that at mile 7 as we entered the charming town of Truchas, with it's snow covered peaks in the distance, I couldn't help but sequel with delight at how picturesque it was. And look for a bathroom. You really don't want to deal with tampons in the forest. We decided we absolutely had to make the trip back up there to have lunch some time...but in a car.
The 7 mile return trip would be mostly down, except for 3 very steep hills. I was half way done, I could do this. However there was something evil lurking ahead, something that sat in ambush waiting to strike. It would be THE WALL.
Long stretches of furiously fast footsteps heaved my aching body forward mile after unrelenting mile. The once beautiful forest smelled of hot baked pine, a suffocating stench. The breeze had turned and was now a biting cold whip that lashed at me as my heart pounded heavily in my body creating a rhythm that drummed loudly in my ears. I noticed that there were no birds singing in the trees, it was as if this was an area that had been stripped of all happiness and I longed for a bear to come charging out of the woods attacking me and dragging my worthless body into the underbrush. I routinely stopped, gasping, begging, praying for rescue, but my coach urged me to push through. I stopped again a mile later, longing to lay in the road. My body hurt on a level that I had never experienced before. A whole inside my stomach had formed and felt as if it would eat me alive from the inside out. I knew I had done everything wrong and that I had set myself up for misery by running on the worst day of my period, by staying up too late, by drinking too much, but not fueling properly before the run and I stood on the side of the road suddenly furious with the entire world. I hated myself for being so stupid. I hated the side of the road that sharply bit at the asphalt. I hated that ugly tree over there and I hated my husband. Like the scene in a movie where the woman goes into labor and screams at her husband that "this is all your fault!", I too decided that his ability to run had inspired me to run and I had no business doing so. I was now stuck in the middle of no where and had hit THE WALL.
Like the fog of an abusive relationship, I lost the ability to think clearly and simply followed my husband"s commands. My mind was acutely aware that each foot I moved forward encouraged the invisible beast inside me to eat at my organs. I clung to a tree waiting to be seized by a heart attack. The words "one more mile" echoed in the haze of pain. One more mile had never sounded so far in my life. My knees screamed as I released the tree from my grasp and staggered down the winding slope, finally making it to the car.
You would think that would be the end, but the pain continued and a heavy wave of nausea found it's home in my gut threatening to expel the beast that was gnawing away at my insides. I was light headed and miserable. For hours my body battled to right itself. Pain coursing deeply through me. I wailed to my sweet husband that I couldn't do this anymore. To my surprise, he beamed with pride as he looked at my wadded up heap of a body, and shared the stats of the run. He informed me that I had run THAT course harder and better than any other. He informed me that this was a huge break through.
By the end of the evening, I had decided not to quit. I will always be wracked by my experience Friday, but with it I know that I can accomplish anything, even breaking through walls.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
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