Speaking of wine and sanity, oh was no one talking about wine and sanity? Well you should because it is pretty much the only way you can keep your sanity when high stress and month after month of intensely busy work threatens to drive you insane. Crush (a.k.a. harvest time) has been one hell of an ass kicking this year.
Quick aside for those wondering what this time of year is like for our winery: Our intake of grapes from around the state increased exponentially as did the haul from our own Estate Vineyards. The growth in distribution and tasting room sales as well as a couple exciting partnerships has pushed us into a new bracket of production and the winery is now jam packed with enormous 2000 gallon stainless steel tanks. As with every year, this hectic time of bringing in the harvest and crushing grapes, making wine and bottling in order to make room for the new stuff, is accompanied by huge festivals, private events, exciting opportunities and wine dinners not to mention all the events we host ourselves. It takes all four of us owners and a fabulous staff to accomplish all of it... and, of course, drinking mass amounts of wine is mandatory to keeping our sanity. Of course, as I keep mentioning "sanity", it begs the question 'has she lost hers?'
OK back to staying sane (see, I did it again). I am currently drinking a glass of our "1725 Estate Vineyard Riesling", it is crisp and dry and beautiful, just like the fall leaves clinging to the trees outside. There is a deep sigh of relief after our final huge event of the season fades into a memory and for a moment we feel the pressure is alleviated.
I sit, like a big blob on my sofa and sip my wine and contemplate adding running back into my life. During crush, it is easy to say I am too busy or too tired to run, but now that I have a little bit calmer schedule, the excuses don't fit. Kinda like my big butt in my jeans. I look out the window at the gorgeous fall colors and imagine myself running beneath them. I feel the cold wine in my hand and imagine that cold feeling turning my nose and cheeks pink as I run in the cool air. When I imagine myself running, it's kinda like Charlotte from 'Sex and The City', happy and smiling, filled with euphoria. Yet I know for a fact that when I waddle my now wide load down the road, it won't look anything like that. My face will have a grimace of pain and the pink in my cheeks will be from deep exhaustion. My spandex running tights will be stretched thin to accommodate my plump legs, a constant reminder with each step that I am definitely not the same size as when I wore them last. I sip my wine and wonder if my sports bras will even fit my current full figure. Maybe I should start with yoga instead of running I ponder. Yoga pants are comfy. You can do yoga at home. You can wear a fitted tank top without the need of a sports bra. Hey, I could take a Yoga and Wine Class!
Suddenly a violent thought occurs to me. You could do yoga right NOW! A cold sweat breaks out across my brow and top lip, possibly the most I've sweat in some time, my heart races.
shhhhhh....shhhhhh....hush. Take a calming sip of wine, breath deeply. No one is going to MAKE you do anything right now. In fact, for your mental health, just contemplating working out is a great exercise I quickly tell myself. We have to be gentle with ourselves, ease ourselves into this. Do I sound like Schmiegel from "Lord of The Rings"???
Clearly crush this year, in my now dismal age of 40, has pushed me over the edge. My sanity is being threatened. That calls for more wine STAT and putting off contemplating running for another day. Maybe I should put yoga pants on too. WAIT! If I sit cross legged on the sofa, in yoga pants, and drink wine, I'm pretty sure that counts as a "Yoga and Wine" class. Winning!!
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
Running on Wine; from Marathons to Rafting to "Fueling" on the Patio, We are Fueled by Vivác.
Monday, October 22, 2018
Wednesday, October 3, 2018
The Emotional Car Crash
Life moves so fast, sometimes it is hard to find the time to talk about what it happening, it just swirls around you like watching the fall leaves fly in the wind out a window, silent yet chaotic. The things that are happening are stressful and emotional, which, lets face it, we all want to look the other way on, so you put your head down and get through it any way you can.
A couple of weeks ago, fully slammed into Crush and event season, I went in for my routine blood work. It is a year now of good test results that have shown my brain tumor is staying inactive. Somehow a year seemed big and my most neurotic thoughts bubbled to the surface. Will the results come back badly and I will know that I need to get back on the psycho drug that helped before? The drug that was dangerous in its own right, yet would allow me to jump in-front of the horrific symptoms that would inevitably come back. Or will it mark an anniversary of being healthy? This will forever be something I have to deal with, always haunting me, will it become active again? Will I have to battle hell all over again? This time, will I have to have the brain surgery?
The test came back bad. Not horrible, but not good either. Of course that meant more tests and stress. I tried to be cavalier about it, act as if I believed everything would be fine, echo the sentiment around me. But on the night when I had to take the medication for the more in-depth test, I set my alarm for the late hour I would need to take it and... burst into tears. I realized the stress of this haunting has been weighing on me in a way I chose to ignore. As the tears fell and my incredible husband caressed my back, I tried to keep the fear from controlling me. As my brilliant, insightful son said "maybe these tests will show you that you ARE healthy and that you should look forward to them as a reminder that you are OK instead of being scared of them". The fact that we have to have these conversations crushes me.
While I awaited the results of the tumor tests that had to be sent out, I also had the joy of my 1st mammogram! Yay 40! It was just as unpleasant as I thought it would be and it made my anxiety about being an old lady now worse (ya ya I know, 40 isn't old. But you know what? I don't like it! And I am going to go ahead and have a year long temper tantrum... until I turn 41 and can settle into the endless, silent, depression that is old age). Anyway, that test came back BAD too! WTF???
The morning I had to go back to the hospital for more images and an ultrasound, I got the results back for the tumor in my head. ALL CLEAR! The relief swept over me in waves and I clenched my jaw to keep from crying in-front of my son. I didn't want him to worry or feel the depth of my fear, pretty sure I failed at that. Somehow it was my 1st response, (tamp down your response woman!) to pretend like I wasn't that worried so he wouldn't be. And yet a shadow hung over us. What would this mammography test find? Am I doomed for bizarre scary health shit forever???
My poor mom has had to live through all of this happening to her baby, the youngest of the family. I can not imagine having to watch this happen to my child. Through it all, she has tried to keep a strong face for me, but the morning at the hospital, you could tell it was just too much. Fear locked in her eyes as she sat next to me in the waiting room. A horrible thought came to me, would the recurrence of the tumor issue and now this actually put her in her grave? And somehow I was struck by how much I missed the innocence of my family's emotional security. Knowing that bad, scary things can happen to those closest to you is terrifying and changes your entire being. While we all know intellectually that anything could happen at any time, living through the dark, grimy details of serious health issues, every day with fear and pain, is entirely different.
The test for the mammography issue came out fine. Getting the result was a heavy moment ironically. It was as if we'd been in a car accident and walked away, the carnage of our experience and fears, emotions and relief all in a jumble. The fatigue of the whole thing had settled in the new lines drawn into our faces, a permanent reminder of the trauma.
Yet, it isn't all bleak! It was a great reminder to keep focus on what is important, cut back on stress and of course, drink more wine.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
A couple of weeks ago, fully slammed into Crush and event season, I went in for my routine blood work. It is a year now of good test results that have shown my brain tumor is staying inactive. Somehow a year seemed big and my most neurotic thoughts bubbled to the surface. Will the results come back badly and I will know that I need to get back on the psycho drug that helped before? The drug that was dangerous in its own right, yet would allow me to jump in-front of the horrific symptoms that would inevitably come back. Or will it mark an anniversary of being healthy? This will forever be something I have to deal with, always haunting me, will it become active again? Will I have to battle hell all over again? This time, will I have to have the brain surgery?
The test came back bad. Not horrible, but not good either. Of course that meant more tests and stress. I tried to be cavalier about it, act as if I believed everything would be fine, echo the sentiment around me. But on the night when I had to take the medication for the more in-depth test, I set my alarm for the late hour I would need to take it and... burst into tears. I realized the stress of this haunting has been weighing on me in a way I chose to ignore. As the tears fell and my incredible husband caressed my back, I tried to keep the fear from controlling me. As my brilliant, insightful son said "maybe these tests will show you that you ARE healthy and that you should look forward to them as a reminder that you are OK instead of being scared of them". The fact that we have to have these conversations crushes me.
While I awaited the results of the tumor tests that had to be sent out, I also had the joy of my 1st mammogram! Yay 40! It was just as unpleasant as I thought it would be and it made my anxiety about being an old lady now worse (ya ya I know, 40 isn't old. But you know what? I don't like it! And I am going to go ahead and have a year long temper tantrum... until I turn 41 and can settle into the endless, silent, depression that is old age). Anyway, that test came back BAD too! WTF???
The morning I had to go back to the hospital for more images and an ultrasound, I got the results back for the tumor in my head. ALL CLEAR! The relief swept over me in waves and I clenched my jaw to keep from crying in-front of my son. I didn't want him to worry or feel the depth of my fear, pretty sure I failed at that. Somehow it was my 1st response, (tamp down your response woman!) to pretend like I wasn't that worried so he wouldn't be. And yet a shadow hung over us. What would this mammography test find? Am I doomed for bizarre scary health shit forever???
My poor mom has had to live through all of this happening to her baby, the youngest of the family. I can not imagine having to watch this happen to my child. Through it all, she has tried to keep a strong face for me, but the morning at the hospital, you could tell it was just too much. Fear locked in her eyes as she sat next to me in the waiting room. A horrible thought came to me, would the recurrence of the tumor issue and now this actually put her in her grave? And somehow I was struck by how much I missed the innocence of my family's emotional security. Knowing that bad, scary things can happen to those closest to you is terrifying and changes your entire being. While we all know intellectually that anything could happen at any time, living through the dark, grimy details of serious health issues, every day with fear and pain, is entirely different.
The test for the mammography issue came out fine. Getting the result was a heavy moment ironically. It was as if we'd been in a car accident and walked away, the carnage of our experience and fears, emotions and relief all in a jumble. The fatigue of the whole thing had settled in the new lines drawn into our faces, a permanent reminder of the trauma.
Yet, it isn't all bleak! It was a great reminder to keep focus on what is important, cut back on stress and of course, drink more wine.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
Wednesday, August 22, 2018
The Hell of It
One of the many elements of my job is to handle our labels. From the look, feel, content and government requirements to descriptions and working with the printer, labels have a lot of details to cover. Usually it comes together easily, other times it is a real pain and the worst part is if after all that work, time and effort, they are printed, the wine is released, and there is an error. I have literally cried several times over labels.
Two of our wines have specialty labels, they are the Divino and Diavolo red wine blends. They are always released as a pair (one is lighter than the other in body style, think Pinot Noir compared to a Cabernet, skim milk to heavy cream) and the artist for the label changes each year. We call them our Heaven and Hell Artist series and they are some of our most popular. They are also some of the most challenging.
Each year, we get submissions from artists to consider their art for our labels, some are easy to see would be perfect for us and others not so much. The art needs to reflect who we are as a winery; what our branding has been. The art needs to be significantly different than the art that was on the label for the last 2 years because wine shops and restaurants will still have a previous vintage of these wines in stock and it gets very confusing very quickly if the art is similar. They need to be sophisticated and look extremely classy as these are also our most expensive wines. And finally, they need to work with the Heaven and Hell theme, what does Heaven and Hell look like to the artist and will customers connect to that? On our very 1st vintage, after all of these considerations, all the planning, all the details, they were printed and didn't fit on the bottle. There were a lot of tears that day.
The current vintage of labels we are working on are some of the hardest yet. A fabulous artist submitted work 3 different times in order to try to find that sweet spot we are looking for, however, after all these years, navigating these waters are more complicated than ever. As the art continued to raise debates among the 4 of us owners, we realized the clock was ticking and we need those labels done ASAP for the wine's late fall release. We needed to shelve this artist so we could lend more time to finding the right pieces and find someone new STAT. Luckily we have a list of artists excited to work with us so jumping down the list is the easy part. Telling the artist we needed to shelf his label for now, was the hardest thing to do. Squashing his electric enthusiasm over this project felt physically painful. This vintage label isn't even done yet and I'm about to cry.
It isn't easy to pull the plug on something that isn't working when you've put so much effort into it, but sometimes, the way to avoid crying is to make those difficult decisions. So, here we go, from scratch with zero time to waste.
Man, mama needs a drink!
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
Two of our wines have specialty labels, they are the Divino and Diavolo red wine blends. They are always released as a pair (one is lighter than the other in body style, think Pinot Noir compared to a Cabernet, skim milk to heavy cream) and the artist for the label changes each year. We call them our Heaven and Hell Artist series and they are some of our most popular. They are also some of the most challenging.
Each year, we get submissions from artists to consider their art for our labels, some are easy to see would be perfect for us and others not so much. The art needs to reflect who we are as a winery; what our branding has been. The art needs to be significantly different than the art that was on the label for the last 2 years because wine shops and restaurants will still have a previous vintage of these wines in stock and it gets very confusing very quickly if the art is similar. They need to be sophisticated and look extremely classy as these are also our most expensive wines. And finally, they need to work with the Heaven and Hell theme, what does Heaven and Hell look like to the artist and will customers connect to that? On our very 1st vintage, after all of these considerations, all the planning, all the details, they were printed and didn't fit on the bottle. There were a lot of tears that day.
The current vintage of labels we are working on are some of the hardest yet. A fabulous artist submitted work 3 different times in order to try to find that sweet spot we are looking for, however, after all these years, navigating these waters are more complicated than ever. As the art continued to raise debates among the 4 of us owners, we realized the clock was ticking and we need those labels done ASAP for the wine's late fall release. We needed to shelve this artist so we could lend more time to finding the right pieces and find someone new STAT. Luckily we have a list of artists excited to work with us so jumping down the list is the easy part. Telling the artist we needed to shelf his label for now, was the hardest thing to do. Squashing his electric enthusiasm over this project felt physically painful. This vintage label isn't even done yet and I'm about to cry.
It isn't easy to pull the plug on something that isn't working when you've put so much effort into it, but sometimes, the way to avoid crying is to make those difficult decisions. So, here we go, from scratch with zero time to waste.
Man, mama needs a drink!
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
Tuesday, August 21, 2018
Crushed by Crush
The summer flew by and before we knew it, we crashed into August and Crush time. We are quadrupling our production so that meant we needed to buy new tanks...2000 gallon tanks that hardly fit in the winery. Pretty much every important piece of equipment has broken and we literally can not get to all the projects that need to happen. It feels a little like drowning...but being really excited and loving the drowning.
20 years after the initial business plan was put in place and Vivac Winery was started, we started to feel like we had crested the wave and were relaxing into an awesome ride when a couple of big opportunities came our way. Taking on these projects has pushed us hard into a growth we weren't ready for and suddenly we find ourselves in another era of intense work, stress and pressure. Maybe it is because now we are in our 40's and we just can't mentally or physically withstand the long days, lack of sleep and high stress that we could in our 20's. Maybe this is just how it is owning a business. Maybe it is just the way it goes in the wine industry. Any which way, it feels daunting. And I think I'm aging rapidly.
On the other side of this, I know we will find ourselves in a far better place, it's just getting there that feels like a Marathon and you all know how much I hate running.
*this mini blog post is brought to you by the mass amounts of Vivac Sangiovese, Syrah and Tempranillo we need to consume to get through the pain of crush.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
20 years after the initial business plan was put in place and Vivac Winery was started, we started to feel like we had crested the wave and were relaxing into an awesome ride when a couple of big opportunities came our way. Taking on these projects has pushed us hard into a growth we weren't ready for and suddenly we find ourselves in another era of intense work, stress and pressure. Maybe it is because now we are in our 40's and we just can't mentally or physically withstand the long days, lack of sleep and high stress that we could in our 20's. Maybe this is just how it is owning a business. Maybe it is just the way it goes in the wine industry. Any which way, it feels daunting. And I think I'm aging rapidly.
On the other side of this, I know we will find ourselves in a far better place, it's just getting there that feels like a Marathon and you all know how much I hate running.
*this mini blog post is brought to you by the mass amounts of Vivac Sangiovese, Syrah and Tempranillo we need to consume to get through the pain of crush.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
Monday, July 16, 2018
Say it Like You Mean it
Earlier today I told my sister-in-law that I "hated" something. She responded "wow! Hate?", it gave me pause. My word choice was callous when it didn't need to be and my intent wasn't to offend or be forceful so why did I say I hated it? It made me think about how day to day chit chat, we are careless with words. Our lives flutter by LOVING something that we don't really love and HATING something that doesn't warrant such a strong emotion. So why do we do it? Are we all so busy that we can't be mindful? Of course this doesn't apply to running. I do HATE running. Or rather I LOVE HATING running.
In the particular instance where I was texting with my sister-in-law, I was in a hurry and responded flippantly. Even if I did truly hate the thing, do I really need to tell people that? It's like how people weigh in on what you plan to name your baby, unsolicited critics, not swaying you but certainly annoying you. And I definitely didn't NEED to say anything at all. So what's up? Why not keep the negative comments to yourself?
I can't help but wonder when we all started being so opinionated. You know, the I-can-say-anything-I-want-because-my-opinion-is-so-important kind of a way, not the it-is-an-important-cause kind of a way. It's the vomit on social media kind of way. Clearly I could get political here, but I will avoid the temptation, watch my words, something I want to start doing a lot more in casual talk. And it is the casual talk that is the root of what I am starting to scratch at, why do people say yes to meeting up or attending a party they have zero real intention of attending? Why do we say agreeable things just so people will like us? And by the same right, why do we say disagreeable things when they don't need to be said?
This ties in to my winemaker husband's New Years Resolution; always say YES. This is the second year he has done this and he has gotten better over time. He started saying YES to things, but would let us know loud and clear that while he said yes, he hated every moment of going to the ballet. But as he re-examined the quality of the yes (like the quality of my "hate") he began embracing the YES completely and it has been infectious.
Of course there hasn't been a recent blog that doesn't include the reminder that I had/ have a brain tumor, so I better stick in the obligatory "I am saying YES to everything" line, because I had the sh*t scared out of me with that process and better live life while I really can. So I have been trying to be a fully invested YES person since. I have more or less been good at it, traveling in Colombia for a full 2 months was definitely an exercise in it. However 'Hector Projector' over here told my husband he wasn't doing a very good job at his YES path because I could tell he wasn't loving the ballet, as if this attitude shift should have somehow altered his core personality. He, without skipping a beat, reminded me that it is apparent that I am not LOVING every second of each YES I step into. Clearly there is room to grow. But in my defense, who truly LOVES saying YES to caving in a pitch black, wild bird infested, waterfall diving freak fest? I did my best damn it!
So what the heck am I blabbing about? It's this; I think I need to morph my slack in verbal specifics in casual chit chat to mirror my YES philosophy. I don't plan to stop being sarcastic (that would be ridiculous and a loss for the rest of the world since my sarcasm is what brings happiness to those around me), but being more positive with my word choice, save 'hate' for when I really mean it, and say "yes" with my intent. Seems like we could all use this in our lives these days don't you think?
I'm starting now, right now. My husband asked if I'd like a glass of wine and I said "YES, I would LOVE one" and I meant every word with every molecule of my body.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
In the particular instance where I was texting with my sister-in-law, I was in a hurry and responded flippantly. Even if I did truly hate the thing, do I really need to tell people that? It's like how people weigh in on what you plan to name your baby, unsolicited critics, not swaying you but certainly annoying you. And I definitely didn't NEED to say anything at all. So what's up? Why not keep the negative comments to yourself?
I can't help but wonder when we all started being so opinionated. You know, the I-can-say-anything-I-want-because-my-opinion-is-so-important kind of a way, not the it-is-an-important-cause kind of a way. It's the vomit on social media kind of way. Clearly I could get political here, but I will avoid the temptation, watch my words, something I want to start doing a lot more in casual talk. And it is the casual talk that is the root of what I am starting to scratch at, why do people say yes to meeting up or attending a party they have zero real intention of attending? Why do we say agreeable things just so people will like us? And by the same right, why do we say disagreeable things when they don't need to be said?
This ties in to my winemaker husband's New Years Resolution; always say YES. This is the second year he has done this and he has gotten better over time. He started saying YES to things, but would let us know loud and clear that while he said yes, he hated every moment of going to the ballet. But as he re-examined the quality of the yes (like the quality of my "hate") he began embracing the YES completely and it has been infectious.
Of course there hasn't been a recent blog that doesn't include the reminder that I had/ have a brain tumor, so I better stick in the obligatory "I am saying YES to everything" line, because I had the sh*t scared out of me with that process and better live life while I really can. So I have been trying to be a fully invested YES person since. I have more or less been good at it, traveling in Colombia for a full 2 months was definitely an exercise in it. However 'Hector Projector' over here told my husband he wasn't doing a very good job at his YES path because I could tell he wasn't loving the ballet, as if this attitude shift should have somehow altered his core personality. He, without skipping a beat, reminded me that it is apparent that I am not LOVING every second of each YES I step into. Clearly there is room to grow. But in my defense, who truly LOVES saying YES to caving in a pitch black, wild bird infested, waterfall diving freak fest? I did my best damn it!
So what the heck am I blabbing about? It's this; I think I need to morph my slack in verbal specifics in casual chit chat to mirror my YES philosophy. I don't plan to stop being sarcastic (that would be ridiculous and a loss for the rest of the world since my sarcasm is what brings happiness to those around me), but being more positive with my word choice, save 'hate' for when I really mean it, and say "yes" with my intent. Seems like we could all use this in our lives these days don't you think?
I'm starting now, right now. My husband asked if I'd like a glass of wine and I said "YES, I would LOVE one" and I meant every word with every molecule of my body.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
Thursday, June 28, 2018
The "Mother" of All Diets
I write this, sitting in bed drinking coffee, NOT up exercising like I should. Do you think it counts that at least I am writing about exercising? Actually, I think it is foretelling that I can't even spell exercising on the 1st try and always have to rewrite it. It is as if I'm phobic.
Anyway, July 1st is coming up and that will make a month on this diet. I started on June 1st...but was still drinking for 3 days, it wasn't until the following Monday that I really committed. Then of course came Father's Day. All in all I think I did pretty good, I stayed on my diet essentially (literally 2 small bites of the decadent, rich, luscious Yorkshire Pudding and only 2 very tiny bites of the dense, moist, warm whiskey cake) focusing on the meat and veggies of the meal. The wine was really really hard. As a extended family, we drink A LOT of wine, and good wine at that. If it had been Yellow Tail (Sorry Yellow Tail, but you know you aren't making legendary wines so you feel me right?), I could have said no, but when the good stuff comes out, well...it's my cryptonite. Needless to say, I drank the equivalent of several glasses of wine; started as innocent tiny sips, but the sips did get bigger, I'm not gonna lie, but I was surprisingly better than it could have been.
I have to stop and offer an apology for using the word "moist" in the above description. I know there are people out there that hate the word 'moist' and find reading or hearing "moist", physically disturbing. But lets face it, a cake is crap unless it is MOIST! Hahahahaha...
OK back to my diet. I didn't feel bad about Father's Day because I also went for a run that morning which I believe set me even to the drinking, maybe wobbling slowly for 2 miles doesn't make up for the calories in all that wine, but I choose to think it does. Needless to say, I jumped back into the non-drinking mode and made it another successful week...ok, almost a week.
My job at our winery is to taste and create wine notes, to which I did while spitting. This is outrageously difficult when the new wines are so delectable and the urge to sit and enjoy each one, like watching your child graduate from college, is undeniably strong. Yes, I did pat myself on the back for managing to avoid temptation. Another aspect of my job is to talk to potential businesses about partnering in various ways, for events or in a grander, more long term fashion, all of which are better if we sit and discuss over a glass of wine. Having a glass of wine puts people at ease and doing so together instantly makes you friends rather than the sticky issues of a strict business meeting full of numbers and bottom lines. Lectures, wine classes, staff training, wine analysis, sales...it ALL requires a sip of wine or more, yet I held back. Honestly it was a freaking miracle! Until Friday.
Ever have one of those (personal or work related) things that you have been working on or toward, nurturing, investing in and then have it come time to make it truly happen, it could be the beginning of something huge, or slip through your finger tips? Well, I had 2 in 1 day. The success of back to back, very important aspects to our business and me personally, caused extreme endorphins to course through my body and scream WE NEED TO CELEBRATE!
In a moment of weakness, I gave in. And in, and in, and in. By the next morning, with a raging hangover, I assessed the damage. I did great on the food portion of the day, but I literally lost count on the wine portion. Bad! Bad! Bad!
I reluctantly told my diet guru. I also came to terms with my possible sabotage of all the hard work I'd put in and more importantly, saw that it is the day AFTER excessive drinking that is the real killer. All I wanted was a giant cheeseburger and fries...and a milkshake...and more wine. Getting back on track that day is what is keeping me good now, it was brutal! And watching my husband eat and drink whatever he wanted did not help.
Lets stop for a moment and have a little aside. It is so not fair that men can burn so many more calories! Given my husband is training for a off road 1/2 marathon so he is running a lot, but it seems so much easier for him. He asked why I couldn't simply eat less, why the extreme diet (we see anything that asks you not to drink daily as 'extreme'), to which I informed him I had been trying that. Well except for the 2 months in Colombia where I ate wheat and drank beer of course. But I'm 40 and my body isn't responding the way it used to. I'm recovering from a brain tumor that caused hormones to rage out of control (man those hormones are MFs) so my body needs a shock to get it jump-started again. This discrepancy between my husband and I with wight loss makes every pound he losses, while eating green chile and cheese smothered hashbrowns, and every step on the scale where I have not lost a pound while sipping protein shakes and fasting, all that more painful. I literally want to stomp my feet and pout.
Little kid temper-tantrum done, I am dedicated to getting back to my pre-tumor weight. After I had my son, I actually couldn't help but have the weight fall off, it was even difficult to keep from being too skinny while I ate anything I wanted! I know, I hate me too right now. Maybe the only truly perfect diet is breastfeeding. Is there some way I can arrange milk production without a pregnancy? I've heard stories of how in extreme cases, people can lactate! This IS an extreme case people, I think extreme measures are needed.
OK, no more procrastination, I've got work to do. In order to get this body in shape, I evidently will need to find a breast pump. Amazon, here I come!
* this post is brought to you by the wines that I celebrated with, thank you for the party: Vivac Abbott Estate Cabernet Franc, Vivac Abbott Estate Merlot, Vivac Rose of Sangiovese, and some non Vivac wines (yes we drink wines from everywhere...that's how we know just how fantastic ours are).
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
Anyway, July 1st is coming up and that will make a month on this diet. I started on June 1st...but was still drinking for 3 days, it wasn't until the following Monday that I really committed. Then of course came Father's Day. All in all I think I did pretty good, I stayed on my diet essentially (literally 2 small bites of the decadent, rich, luscious Yorkshire Pudding and only 2 very tiny bites of the dense, moist, warm whiskey cake) focusing on the meat and veggies of the meal. The wine was really really hard. As a extended family, we drink A LOT of wine, and good wine at that. If it had been Yellow Tail (Sorry Yellow Tail, but you know you aren't making legendary wines so you feel me right?), I could have said no, but when the good stuff comes out, well...it's my cryptonite. Needless to say, I drank the equivalent of several glasses of wine; started as innocent tiny sips, but the sips did get bigger, I'm not gonna lie, but I was surprisingly better than it could have been.
I have to stop and offer an apology for using the word "moist" in the above description. I know there are people out there that hate the word 'moist' and find reading or hearing "moist", physically disturbing. But lets face it, a cake is crap unless it is MOIST! Hahahahaha...
OK back to my diet. I didn't feel bad about Father's Day because I also went for a run that morning which I believe set me even to the drinking, maybe wobbling slowly for 2 miles doesn't make up for the calories in all that wine, but I choose to think it does. Needless to say, I jumped back into the non-drinking mode and made it another successful week...ok, almost a week.
My job at our winery is to taste and create wine notes, to which I did while spitting. This is outrageously difficult when the new wines are so delectable and the urge to sit and enjoy each one, like watching your child graduate from college, is undeniably strong. Yes, I did pat myself on the back for managing to avoid temptation. Another aspect of my job is to talk to potential businesses about partnering in various ways, for events or in a grander, more long term fashion, all of which are better if we sit and discuss over a glass of wine. Having a glass of wine puts people at ease and doing so together instantly makes you friends rather than the sticky issues of a strict business meeting full of numbers and bottom lines. Lectures, wine classes, staff training, wine analysis, sales...it ALL requires a sip of wine or more, yet I held back. Honestly it was a freaking miracle! Until Friday.
Ever have one of those (personal or work related) things that you have been working on or toward, nurturing, investing in and then have it come time to make it truly happen, it could be the beginning of something huge, or slip through your finger tips? Well, I had 2 in 1 day. The success of back to back, very important aspects to our business and me personally, caused extreme endorphins to course through my body and scream WE NEED TO CELEBRATE!
In a moment of weakness, I gave in. And in, and in, and in. By the next morning, with a raging hangover, I assessed the damage. I did great on the food portion of the day, but I literally lost count on the wine portion. Bad! Bad! Bad!
I reluctantly told my diet guru. I also came to terms with my possible sabotage of all the hard work I'd put in and more importantly, saw that it is the day AFTER excessive drinking that is the real killer. All I wanted was a giant cheeseburger and fries...and a milkshake...and more wine. Getting back on track that day is what is keeping me good now, it was brutal! And watching my husband eat and drink whatever he wanted did not help.
Lets stop for a moment and have a little aside. It is so not fair that men can burn so many more calories! Given my husband is training for a off road 1/2 marathon so he is running a lot, but it seems so much easier for him. He asked why I couldn't simply eat less, why the extreme diet (we see anything that asks you not to drink daily as 'extreme'), to which I informed him I had been trying that. Well except for the 2 months in Colombia where I ate wheat and drank beer of course. But I'm 40 and my body isn't responding the way it used to. I'm recovering from a brain tumor that caused hormones to rage out of control (man those hormones are MFs) so my body needs a shock to get it jump-started again. This discrepancy between my husband and I with wight loss makes every pound he losses, while eating green chile and cheese smothered hashbrowns, and every step on the scale where I have not lost a pound while sipping protein shakes and fasting, all that more painful. I literally want to stomp my feet and pout.
Little kid temper-tantrum done, I am dedicated to getting back to my pre-tumor weight. After I had my son, I actually couldn't help but have the weight fall off, it was even difficult to keep from being too skinny while I ate anything I wanted! I know, I hate me too right now. Maybe the only truly perfect diet is breastfeeding. Is there some way I can arrange milk production without a pregnancy? I've heard stories of how in extreme cases, people can lactate! This IS an extreme case people, I think extreme measures are needed.
OK, no more procrastination, I've got work to do. In order to get this body in shape, I evidently will need to find a breast pump. Amazon, here I come!
* this post is brought to you by the wines that I celebrated with, thank you for the party: Vivac Abbott Estate Cabernet Franc, Vivac Abbott Estate Merlot, Vivac Rose of Sangiovese, and some non Vivac wines (yes we drink wines from everywhere...that's how we know just how fantastic ours are).
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
Thursday, June 14, 2018
The Good, The Bad & The Fatty
Well, it has been 4 months exactly since we got back from Colombia. The 2 months there seemed to ooze in a sweet slow way. Life in Colombia was like submerging yourself under water in a pool; everything goes quiet and you become weightless. By the same right, being back home is like that inevitable moment when you finally have to come back up for air and the noise of the poolside chaos jarringly hits you as you break the surface. Since being back, everything seems to be on fast forward, I'm unable to keep up and I long for that cool, calm of deep water. I even dream about it each night.
But reality is, we gotta work! And, my waistline seriously can't be on vacation permanently. As all of you that follow this blog know, I had some "health issues" (to put it mildly) over the last few years and had uncontrollable weight gain. As I got healthier, weight fell off, then stopped. In an attempt to 'love myself the way I am' and be grateful for my improving health, regardless of the train-wreck that was left in its wake, I turned the other cheek to that mean voice in my head. And by "turn the other cheek", evidently I mean go ahead and let my big ass just stay big. Finally I had had it and decided to stop being 'cheeky' and do something about it.
Now if you recall, another fun thing I got from the 'health issue' was compromised ligaments and tendons. So when I jumped off a sailboat and landed on a docking cleat (1 year ago), I literally blew out my ankle (full rupture of 2 ligaments and badly tearing 2 tendons with a high ankle sprain), ya, no bueno. Then, in a series of unfortunate events, kinda like the popular show/ movie/ books by that name, tragic yet funny, I dislocated my shoulder...2 days later. I told you my sh*t was compromised! Anyway, it has taken a year to get my ankle to the point where I can now do some low impact exercise. Being that I had turned into a delicate marionette with my fragile ligaments and tendons, I actually listened to the doctors and have been very very careful. Now, full of fear, it is time to start to test my body. Ahhhh...my "Fueled by Vivac" fans, you are starting to see where this is going aren't you? Yes my dears, I am going to start complaining about running again! Woohoo!
My adventures in Colombia may have been full of thrills, but nothing will be as momentous as hauling my giant ass down the road on a wobbly ankle. And with hardly any physical activity over the last year combined with drinking beer and eating wheat while I was traveling, I now have to try to get back in shape while going through wheat withdrawals. Oh, didn't you know? Yep, I am also one of those annoying people that don't eat wheat. To add insult to injury (no pun intended...ok, maybe it was intended) I'm going to attempt a diet plan that requires me to give up my one true passion in life, wine (GASP!). Nothing should set up complaining like the lack of wine and wheat mixed with making me run. God save my husband and child, this could be scary.
So sit back, relax, open a bottle of wine for me and enjoy the impending doom.
* This blog is sponsored by 'the wines I want to be drinking so freaking bad!': Vivac Abbott Estate Merlot & Vivac Abbott Cab Franc. Oh and Vivac Rose of Sangiovese & Vivac Chardonnay. Oh and also Vivac Tempranillo and Vivac Club Select.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
But reality is, we gotta work! And, my waistline seriously can't be on vacation permanently. As all of you that follow this blog know, I had some "health issues" (to put it mildly) over the last few years and had uncontrollable weight gain. As I got healthier, weight fell off, then stopped. In an attempt to 'love myself the way I am' and be grateful for my improving health, regardless of the train-wreck that was left in its wake, I turned the other cheek to that mean voice in my head. And by "turn the other cheek", evidently I mean go ahead and let my big ass just stay big. Finally I had had it and decided to stop being 'cheeky' and do something about it.
Now if you recall, another fun thing I got from the 'health issue' was compromised ligaments and tendons. So when I jumped off a sailboat and landed on a docking cleat (1 year ago), I literally blew out my ankle (full rupture of 2 ligaments and badly tearing 2 tendons with a high ankle sprain), ya, no bueno. Then, in a series of unfortunate events, kinda like the popular show/ movie/ books by that name, tragic yet funny, I dislocated my shoulder...2 days later. I told you my sh*t was compromised! Anyway, it has taken a year to get my ankle to the point where I can now do some low impact exercise. Being that I had turned into a delicate marionette with my fragile ligaments and tendons, I actually listened to the doctors and have been very very careful. Now, full of fear, it is time to start to test my body. Ahhhh...my "Fueled by Vivac" fans, you are starting to see where this is going aren't you? Yes my dears, I am going to start complaining about running again! Woohoo!
My adventures in Colombia may have been full of thrills, but nothing will be as momentous as hauling my giant ass down the road on a wobbly ankle. And with hardly any physical activity over the last year combined with drinking beer and eating wheat while I was traveling, I now have to try to get back in shape while going through wheat withdrawals. Oh, didn't you know? Yep, I am also one of those annoying people that don't eat wheat. To add insult to injury (no pun intended...ok, maybe it was intended) I'm going to attempt a diet plan that requires me to give up my one true passion in life, wine (GASP!). Nothing should set up complaining like the lack of wine and wheat mixed with making me run. God save my husband and child, this could be scary.
So sit back, relax, open a bottle of wine for me and enjoy the impending doom.
* This blog is sponsored by 'the wines I want to be drinking so freaking bad!': Vivac Abbott Estate Merlot & Vivac Abbott Cab Franc. Oh and Vivac Rose of Sangiovese & Vivac Chardonnay. Oh and also Vivac Tempranillo and Vivac Club Select.
-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com
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