Traveler's Triathlon

You know what is an intense workout? Going to the airport!

Do you remember when flying use to be an occasion to dress up? Do you remember cocktails and smoking on the plane? Do you remember nice flight attendants? Ahhh those were the times. OK most of that I don't actually remember, but I watch a lot of TV and if it was on TV, then it happened right?

Now, we are cattle herded into lines and screamed at, stripped down and fondled...yes today at the Austin airport security, the security person actually grabbed my boobs, is that really allowed? I mean it happened and I didn't object so I guess it was allowed, but it was very weird. I mean at least buy me a drink 1st lady!

With a reasonable tweaker's early arrival to the airport, these things don't usually fluster me. However, after finding out my original flight was cancelled and being re-booked on a new flight, that then was delayed, then making my connecting flight impossible, I was told to go get my checked luggage and start the entire process over! Ya, talk about a nightmare for my sensory overloaded, control freak little mind.

(The following reenactment was brought to you today by my vivid imagination)

You ready for exercise class people?
                            "No! I'm wearing the wrong shoes for this!"
Great more resistance!
                            "No, wait, I got here early so I wouldn't have to do this!"
Don't be a whiner!
                            "ahhhhhh!!!!"

It is now a fast tempo walk back and forth across the same one mile distance of the airport from desk to desk, because no one really knows how to help you. Then it is stairs, fast, because the escalator is broken and you are in a panic (cue the burn from Pilates class yesterday!). Then more stairs only now with weights (aka your luggage). Then back through the lines of security where the eager people behind you encourage you to hop from one foot to the next removing your shoes while juggling various bins to hold all the crap you have to unload from your seemingly small carry on all while tripping over things you trail behind. Imagine a untalented circus clown jumping rope. And like a fun house mirror, out I pop on the other side, undressed and in a shamble.

Finally, I escape the hordes and find my new gate. As I sit, relieved to be back on the path to my final destination, I realize I wasn't groped this time at security and I start to wonder if maybe that really was out of the norm and inappropriate. At this point I couldn't just use a smoke and a drink. I think I deserve one!

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Once Upon a Butt Kicking

Ever get so fed up with yourself that you decide to kick your own butt? That was me yesterday. I decided that I needed to really rev up my workouts, sorta a punishment for not working out all weekend, yep I am that twisted. I'm like my own wicked witch tormenting the sweet, healthy, fit me hidden deep inside.

Yesterday I got to the gym and instead of my usual lazy approach of warming up with a cup of coffee and a half hour of emails (yes I do do that, don't judge), I hustled into the cardio room and ran on the treadmill for 25 mins. OK I walked and ran...maybe I walked more than I ran. But THEN I took the Power Circuit weight class.

After this thorough butt kicking, I had an "adventurous" work day (that would be code for what-the-hell-is-up-with-this-stupid-day), then made it home in time to clean my house before dinner. It was a day of slaying dragons. By the time I poured a glass of wine I was asleep. No really I closed my eyes for a moment and awoke from a death sleep at midnight. I'm pretty sure I'm a Disney Princess now, you know she falls into a spell bound sleep and something important happens at midnight, oh and she has a rockin body without having to do anything...ever.

What? I said I worked out really hard! Surely one day of kicking my own butt will give me that perfect body right?

After solving all the worlds problems from midnight to 3am (clearly this is my Disney Princess special power, they all have them and since I can't sing and don't have woodland animals coming to my window, I think mine is solving problems in the middle of the night), I arose to a beautiful new day...and one sore body. My boobs even hurt.

Funny how the mind tricks you into thinking one day can radically change your body. How one day can erase a lifetime of cookies. But in truth, one day can make a difference. One day can kick start a new way of being in the world, a way of pushing yourself past what you think you can handle and make you rise to the occasion, be it another day at the gym, or slaying more dragons, or quitting the bad self talk. The biggest adventure every Disney Princess ever faces is defeating that wicked witch.

Cue feel good song sung by a bunny while rainbows arc across the sky. Oh and lets make sure that bunny brings the Princess a glass of wine, she missed her quota last night.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Halloween Horror Story

The Halloween Haze is lifting and revealing the ghastly truth of reality. The reality is that you can not avoid working out, drink booze like a fish and eat candy like you are a child who's strict parents aren't looking without some sad consequences.

As you all know, from my incessant complaining, that I haven't had the drive or will to workout (thank you crazy hormones). My once intense running career seems to be that of yesteryear, but my "running" eating habits have kept up in full swing. Maybe it was the fog of denial, but I actually didn't see the effects...until Halloween.

As if in some cruel Halloween prank, the party photos revealed the truth I was trying to ignore, my weight gain and unhappiness was evident, like a ghost finally revealed in a mirror. Somehow I had been able to hide it, covered it up with clever clothing and make-up, but in the Halloween Horror I could see the change in my face shape, the sadness in my expression and my clothes didn't fit right. It was the scariest of revelations.

Well, after a final look at the Halloween Horror of Facebook photos, I decided things needed to change NOW. I didn't drink wine last night (GASP!!!) and went to bed early. I woke up this morning and hauled my big ass to the gym, sausaged into workout clothes. I worked out really hard (not CrossFit hard, but you have to start somewhere), and had a healthy lunch, no sugar, no wheat, no processed foods. I feel better already.

I remained the same weight for 9 years after having my son and knew as I got older that that would shift, I don't mind that, but this is ridiculous. Screw the hormones, I'm fighting back!

Maybe Halloween is my New Year, a chance to see the scary and make a change. Don't worry, I won't cut out wine entirely, that isn't healthy.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Turning Over a New Leaf

Fall is in full swing! The leaves on the trees are golden and falling and for some unknown reason it always inspires me to change things up. But changing habits is beyond difficult. When I 1st started my gluten free diet (yes I am one of those annoying people), it was insanely hard to pass up wheat products, but with time I found I stopped craving it and learned to enjoy the cardboard items masquerading as bread. And working out has always been one that takes a few days to get me into the rhythm. Except for this go around. This period of my life seems to be dedicated to laziness.

My lack of motivation has been astounding. I actually texted my friend from the dressing room of the gym, already dressed to work out, asking if I could get out of it! I mean this is really desperate. Maybe it's that I try to tackle too many things all at once. I decide today is the day I will start working out, stop eating sugar and cut back on caffeine. Of course I had 2 cups of coffee this morning...well maybe one and a half since I spilled half of it all over my car.  Maybe it is that I decide today I will start working out and will work out every single day from here on out. I mean who can keep that promise? Maybe it is that I'm stressed with work and that has zapped all my energy. Maybe I need an intervention.

Needless to say, I did actually run on the treadmill. I can't say that it was that torturous either. But I can't imagine doing it again this week. Surely running once a week is enough right? It is if I cut back on the sweets... maybe. Which I will do right after I eat these cookies.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Oh Ya, Feel That Burger...I Mean Burn.

There is something delicious about being deep down sore. Not nearly as delicious as a blue cheese bacon burger or a sopapilla or deep dish Chicago style pizza, but considering I can't say no to incredible food...I have to also enjoy being incredibly sore from a brutal workout.

As my avid readers know, I have recently joined the gym. As a new member of the gym, I have decided it is my duty to try the buffet of exercise classes offered. Being that I am wickedly out of shape, I thought it best to start with a Yoga class.

There is a reason why "Yoga" conjures certain images in your mind. Yes, Yoga is obviously good for you, I don't think people (read that as me) stretch enough and having taken a number of Yoga classes before, I also know that it requires strength in muscles we don't work regularly. BUT, when you walk into a room that has a stench so thick you can almost see it hanging in the air, like a fog, you start thinking about all the jokes you've read on Facebook about Yoga.

I came into the Yoga class late. I know, how rude right? Well like true karma, it was to bite me in the ass. As I raced in and tried to quickly find a spot in the packed room, the 'fog' smacked me in the face. Suddenly surrounded by people in strange combinations of clothing they had either been wearing for decades or found in the free box, I realized I had changed my mind. Tough luck baby! After a late and obnoxious entrance, I had no choice but to breath (not so deeply) and surrender to the fact that I was in over my head.

When did people stop explaining moves in exercise classes? Sure I've done Yoga a few times, but that doesn't mean I have the slightest clue what is happening when the instructor calls out words in Sanskrit. My baffled expressions and "modern" running attire must have given me away as an impostor because my neighbor (who was way too close for comfort might I add) started giving me a very rude stare down. Whatever guy, don't get your skirt all in a bunch, after all aren't you suppose to be kind as a Yogi?

Needless to say, my attempt to become Gumby didn't leave me feeling worked out so I stayed for the next class, BodyPump. In my mind I started to imagine myself spending all day every day floating from one class to the next, unleashing the Goddess body I have hiding under burgers, pizza and sopapillas. Then I got a wake-up call of reality.

No BodyPump is not like the fight-for-your-life CrossFit, but it is not to be taken lightly either! For one, it is dog eat dog vying for a ticket just to get in the room, or in my case stay in the room. A little luck and a Golden Ticket in my hand, I was ready to collect my mountain of equipment and feel the burn!

Oh ya, that class definitely makes you feel the burn. Designed to "shock" the muscle, BodyPump shocked the Holy Hell out of me! I was in such "shock" after that, that I needed to comfort myself with a blue cheese bacon burger. I know, it was horrible, thank you for feeling my pain.

Over the last couple days, I have been deeply sore. The kind of sore that wakes up in the night when you try to innocently roll over only to have your thighs scream in pain. But it is that delicious kind of sore, the kind where you feel like you are making changes, real changes. I just might order that burger with gouda, mushrooms and bacon next time.

(this blog is brought to you today by the Vivac wines Dolcetto, Merlot & Syrah which are always amazing with a great burger)

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Personal Train This

My gym offers a free session with a personal trainer. It should have come with a warning.

I've never met with a personal trainer, unless you count the time I worked out with my friend Gabrielle who was a personal trainer at that time...she too should have come with a warning label. There is a reason why that woman has 0% body fat and a body made for the cover of Fitness or Shape magazine. I couldn't walk or cross my legs without assistance for 4 days after that workout.

Today's training session should have had a different type of warning, a may-be-hazardous-to-your-self-esteem warning. I must admit, the morning had started out rough so maybe I was more sensitive than usual. My son is now going to a new school that requires a commute so we have to get up really early. Some people are morning people, some people simply accept what they need to do, some people adjust to getting up early. I am not some people. I hate waking up with an alarm. I hate getting out of a warm bed. I hate waking up my young son from a deep sleep to be yelled at because he doesn't want to get up either. We are quite the 'morning monsters' my son and I.

Once in the car, we usually seem to settle ourselves into what the day will bring. Today, however, I only had one cup of coffee and I could sense that my cooping skills weren't at peak performance.

I don't know what I thought I was going to find out at the free personal training session, maybe I had hoped this person would have some magic answer for me...maybe I was hoping he would say "Yes, you can continue being a lazy lump and eat nachos at 9:00 at night and by simply paying for this gym membership, you will become a swimsuit model". I'll save you the suspense, he did NOT say that and that is when the lack of coffee kicked in.

A battery of difficult questions berated me... "What are your weight goals? When do you like to work out? How often are you working out now? How is your diet? What weight training do you incorporate? ..." blah blah blah. I sheepishly tried to answer these personal jabs disguised as questions and realized I was going to have to lie. When do I LIKE to work out??? Uhhhh...uhhhhh...is this a trick question? I don't LIKE to work out! "Morning" I replied. WOW, really? Me, the lady who hates to get out of bed, just told this guy I liked to work out in the morning. Great start.

After a few more minutes of trying to suck in my stomach fat to flatten out my latex shirt, this guy looks me up and down and says "How old are you? I'd guess about 36." I was super impressed and said so to which he admitted that my birth date was in the file. Was this suppose to be funny? Ahhh great, I got a jokester.

Then Mr. Funny Man stopped being funny. That creep made me get on the scale. Ya, I know, can you believe it?! I think all the color went out of my face. But before I knew it I not only knew my weight, but I also knew my fat percentage. Lets just say I am noooooooooo where near my friend Gabrielle's percentage. After that complete blow to my psyche, he made me do exercises. Hello, I need counseling after that news not torture!

Did I mention that he also took my phone from me? He said it would be a distraction. Creep.

After a sad workout (it's difficult to run or lift weights when you are depressed) I took my soggy self to the car and cried.

I don't think I like personal training.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Getting Back Together With My Ex

Going back to an ex is always a little weird. There are all the reasons why they are an ex in the 1st place, then the curiosity to see if they have really changed like they promote catches your attention. I didn't mean to fall back in with my ex, it just happened.

Now that my son is going to a new school, which requires a 30 minute commute each way, I found myself killing time in the town I grew up in. Memories are plentiful in my home town, some good, some not so good. Memory lane being what it is, it makes sense that given enough time, I might resort to old habits...and sure enough, I did.

It started as a need to keep my mind off of obsessing over my young son who was not just starting at a new school, but skipping a grade which made him considerably younger than his classmates...and he is my only child...cue OCD behavior. Distraction was definitely what I needed.

At 1st I did things like walk in the park, innocent and clearly not exciting enough of an activity. I started looking around for more action. In a small town your options aren't that varied so when I heard that my ex had gone through a "face lift" of sorts, been spruced up, found some ways to improve, I couldn't resist. Who can fault me for wanting to take a peek?

The 1st meeting was strange. A combination of all the familiar things rushing back and a sense of being out of my element. It was weird. I left feeling clear that I wasn't the same person I had been when we were together, but who was I? I felt old and lost.

A few days later and the run in with my ex was haunting me. I decided I needed to see how wrong my ex was for me by looking around. What? There is no harm in looking!

I found a few interesting options and decided to "explore". Option 1 was dark, moody and not that friendly. Option 2 was odd to say the least...and surrounded by incredibly old women...and smelled funny. Option 3 was unprofessional and I just can't stand that. Option 4 was dead. Yep, that option that sounded too good to be true was just that, it was so great it was gone.

So...I started fantasizing about my ex. It is amazing how once a thought enters your mind, you find ways to rationalize it. My mind worked quickly in this manner and the next time I dropped my son off at school, I drove immediately to my ex.

After seeing what else was out there, being with my ex seemed the best option. Things seem different this time, fresh somehow. It is the support I need right now, the distraction from obsessing over my son that I need. I had promised I would start training for that race I'm signed up for in October and I still haven't! I am so damn lazy...I need my ex to help me get through this. I need the flexible hours, personal trainers, new treadmills and steam room. I need the gym I loved so dearly all through high school!

Yes my friends, I have once again joined the gym. The same gym that sucked all my extra cash. The same gym that started to demand more and more of my time. The same gym that made me feel bad for each and every date I canceled on. All I can say is that I hope getting back together with my ex is a healthier endeavor this time around.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!