Getting Back Together With My Ex

Going back to an ex is always a little weird. There are all the reasons why they are an ex in the 1st place, then the curiosity to see if they have really changed like they promote catches your attention. I didn't mean to fall back in with my ex, it just happened.

Now that my son is going to a new school, which requires a 30 minute commute each way, I found myself killing time in the town I grew up in. Memories are plentiful in my home town, some good, some not so good. Memory lane being what it is, it makes sense that given enough time, I might resort to old habits...and sure enough, I did.

It started as a need to keep my mind off of obsessing over my young son who was not just starting at a new school, but skipping a grade which made him considerably younger than his classmates...and he is my only child...cue OCD behavior. Distraction was definitely what I needed.

At 1st I did things like walk in the park, innocent and clearly not exciting enough of an activity. I started looking around for more action. In a small town your options aren't that varied so when I heard that my ex had gone through a "face lift" of sorts, been spruced up, found some ways to improve, I couldn't resist. Who can fault me for wanting to take a peek?

The 1st meeting was strange. A combination of all the familiar things rushing back and a sense of being out of my element. It was weird. I left feeling clear that I wasn't the same person I had been when we were together, but who was I? I felt old and lost.

A few days later and the run in with my ex was haunting me. I decided I needed to see how wrong my ex was for me by looking around. What? There is no harm in looking!

I found a few interesting options and decided to "explore". Option 1 was dark, moody and not that friendly. Option 2 was odd to say the least...and surrounded by incredibly old women...and smelled funny. Option 3 was unprofessional and I just can't stand that. Option 4 was dead. Yep, that option that sounded too good to be true was just that, it was so great it was gone.

So...I started fantasizing about my ex. It is amazing how once a thought enters your mind, you find ways to rationalize it. My mind worked quickly in this manner and the next time I dropped my son off at school, I drove immediately to my ex.

After seeing what else was out there, being with my ex seemed the best option. Things seem different this time, fresh somehow. It is the support I need right now, the distraction from obsessing over my son that I need. I had promised I would start training for that race I'm signed up for in October and I still haven't! I am so damn lazy...I need my ex to help me get through this. I need the flexible hours, personal trainers, new treadmills and steam room. I need the gym I loved so dearly all through high school!

Yes my friends, I have once again joined the gym. The same gym that sucked all my extra cash. The same gym that started to demand more and more of my time. The same gym that made me feel bad for each and every date I canceled on. All I can say is that I hope getting back together with my ex is a healthier endeavor this time around.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!