Traveler's Triathlon

You know what is an intense workout? Going to the airport!

Do you remember when flying use to be an occasion to dress up? Do you remember cocktails and smoking on the plane? Do you remember nice flight attendants? Ahhh those were the times. OK most of that I don't actually remember, but I watch a lot of TV and if it was on TV, then it happened right?

Now, we are cattle herded into lines and screamed at, stripped down and fondled...yes today at the Austin airport security, the security person actually grabbed my boobs, is that really allowed? I mean it happened and I didn't object so I guess it was allowed, but it was very weird. I mean at least buy me a drink 1st lady!

With a reasonable tweaker's early arrival to the airport, these things don't usually fluster me. However, after finding out my original flight was cancelled and being re-booked on a new flight, that then was delayed, then making my connecting flight impossible, I was told to go get my checked luggage and start the entire process over! Ya, talk about a nightmare for my sensory overloaded, control freak little mind.

(The following reenactment was brought to you today by my vivid imagination)

You ready for exercise class people?
                            "No! I'm wearing the wrong shoes for this!"
Great more resistance!
                            "No, wait, I got here early so I wouldn't have to do this!"
Don't be a whiner!
                            "ahhhhhh!!!!"

It is now a fast tempo walk back and forth across the same one mile distance of the airport from desk to desk, because no one really knows how to help you. Then it is stairs, fast, because the escalator is broken and you are in a panic (cue the burn from Pilates class yesterday!). Then more stairs only now with weights (aka your luggage). Then back through the lines of security where the eager people behind you encourage you to hop from one foot to the next removing your shoes while juggling various bins to hold all the crap you have to unload from your seemingly small carry on all while tripping over things you trail behind. Imagine a untalented circus clown jumping rope. And like a fun house mirror, out I pop on the other side, undressed and in a shamble.

Finally, I escape the hordes and find my new gate. As I sit, relieved to be back on the path to my final destination, I realize I wasn't groped this time at security and I start to wonder if maybe that really was out of the norm and inappropriate. At this point I couldn't just use a smoke and a drink. I think I deserve one!

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com