True Love

When you are really in love, even the mundane stuff is fun. That's how I knew Running and I had slipped into that comfortable spot in our relationship.

I eagerly stepped onto my home treadmill and happily started my run...while facing a wall. Ya, I was going to run on a treadmill facing a blank wall. This is what most people think of as Hell, but I actually didn't mind. I focused on my body and worked on my stride. I felt the muscles work and made adjustments to my body for better form. That's when I felt that prickle up my spine, that feeling that something was off. There was an obvious favoring of my right leg. I could feel my left leg compensating. Why, Running? Why are you acting like this?

Sometimes it is when you are the most comfortable that a relationship can turn on you. I'm not sure why Running wanted to hurt me, it seemed as if it came out of nowhere! I let my shock take over and as if on autopilot, I decided I'd ignore the elephant in the room. That never works by-the-way, it just makes things awkward, and now things were awkward with Running.

Even my favorite running path couldn't cover up the awkwardness in our relationship. Now it wasn't just a matter of looking the other way, hoping Running's bad mood would pass. Now it was turning into an issue. At this point it would have been a good idea to be upfront with Running, find out what was wrong. I did not go that route. I decided to give Running some time off, some alone time. As the days ticked by, I found myself thinking about Running all the time...was Running thinking about me too?

3 days later and no word from Running (what a jerk right?), I still had this unresolved issue that Running left me with, it was starting to take over everything I did, and Running couldn't care less! At this point I was getting mad, and I don't behave very well when I am hurt and mad. So the next time I passed by the treadmill...I flipped it off. Yep, I seriously know how to get under the skin of inanimate objects.

Then I felt bad. You know how you feel after being lame to your partner when you are fighting and then you give in and apologize even though it was clearly their fault in the 1st place? You know a 'guilt apology'. Well after flipping off the treadmill, I decided to grow up and take the initiative with Running.

I decided another treadmill-facing-a-blank-wall date was in order, an easy date that I could duck out of easily if Running was still mad at me. I started to unfold the treadmill and it pinched my finger badly! Evidently it had not appreciated my clever finger salute. While this was a clear sign I was venturing down a scary path, I ignored the signs and proceeded.

A short date later, it was clear...Running and I had some issues. I decided to come clean and be direct. Ask the questions that scared me the most. What I found out was revolutionary. Running wasn't mad at me, in fact we were in love more than before, but my baggage had come between us again.

We have decided to get a professional involved, couples therapy, someone who can help me stop self sabotaging with heavy heel strikes or upper body twisting. Some relationships are worth fighting for and for me, Running might be True Love.

*Today's blog is brought to you by Vivác's Cabernet Sauvignon, because as with great relationships, this wine always comes through for you.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Suspicions

Yep, being in love is tricky.

Running and I had fallen into a comfortable routine when out of nowhere I started having suspicions. This is a tricky time in a relationship, you have determined that you are in love, but is it reciprocated? If you start thinking about it, you start questioning, if you start questioning you start having suspicions and suspicions are never good.

I was traveling to an area that was hot & humid, not my typical running climate, but like I said, my relationship with Running is different this time (see blogs "Back From a Break-up" & "Are You Jealous?"). So I saddled up and went on a date with Running as soon as I arrived.

Out on the open road amongst the lush green forests, I felt good, solid in our relationship and even giddy with how well it was going. Running and I really had started over with a clean slate. The rolling hills and blooming flowers only confirmed how wonderful our relationship was and my iPod shuffled to Sade.

The following day I couldn't make my date with Running and had to cancel, it hurt me to do so, but I had family responsibilities. While my family supports my relationship with Running, they can sometimes feel neglected due to the amount of time Running takes up.  The only problem is I had to cancel our date the day after that too.

Running always seems fine when you cancel, takes it in stride. But by the 3rd day, I knew I had pushed it. My date on that 3rd day after 2 days off made aches and pains I hadn't felt in a long time resurface. It wasn't bad, but it was a definite sign...Running was pissed at me. I tried to reason away the missed dates, but Running stays silent, waiting till you are vulnerable to kick you in the knee...or hip...or foot. Even the bunny rabbits that played so cutely on the side of the road, stopped and came toward me, poised as if to attack, little rabid bunnies who obviously took Running's side. I yelled "You don't know everything! Don't judge me you little bunny rabbits!", I could see my relationship with Running was reaching that tricky love stage. I started to have suspicions. I started to wonder if in a blink of an eye, we would be back to that place that drove us to break-up before. I could see I looked totally nuts yelling at animals.

Suspicions are what drive a wedge deep into a relationship, they require you to believe your thoughts rather than facts. Running showed me at that moment, the moment where I almost kicked a little bunny rabbit, that this suspicion was an old thought from the way we use to be. The fact was, this was a great run and the aches subsided. I realized my fear about our relationship and the ideas about how I thought it should, would or could go were going to cause damage to our new found love.

I felt a huge shift as I realized that letting go of the suspicions and allowing myself to enjoy what this is now is the only way to be in a relationship.

Now the problem is, I don't think Running likes my best friend Wine as much as I do.

*Today's blog is brought to you by our Rosé of Dolcetto, because you have to have a great chilled wine to suffer in great heat and humidity.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.vivacwinery.com

Back From a Break-up

Returning to running after a long break, no matter what the reason, is like bumping into your ex unexpectedly. At first there is a flush of excitement, a bit of confusion in your body. You try to process all the information your body and brain are fighting to tell you. Your brain says 'hey we can handle this' while your body says 'oh hell no!'.

As you start your 1st run back on the track (or road, or sidewalk or treadmill) there is a surge of that old familiar feeling, a feeling your body recognizes without hesitation just like when you see an ex that you loved, you sense that familiarity. Your brain seizes the opportunity to tell you fast quipped lies 'Look a fresh start! We can be friends! Things are different!'. But the truth is, you can never really be friends with running...or an ex.

A few minutes into this new found "friendship", you are sucker punched with memories. Memories of why you had to break-up. Those old wounds suddenly feel fresh as your knee squeals and your hamstring sears red hot with a cramp. Ya, you know what I'm talking about, same with an ex that fills the awkward silence with backhanded compliments and inappropriate innuendo. You suddenly realize...running...running is a jerk.

It's ok though. Things ARE different, you are different, and you will be every single damn time you take a break and start over. This seems to surprise me every time. Why can't it be 'running with benefits', an easy going, no strings attached, just having fun kind of a relationship that can be picked up or forgotten about any time one wants?

I have to admit, I don't know who I will be in this new relationship with running. Will I cower to its demands as I have in the past, letting it bully me? Or will I be strong and take control? I am currently being seduced and you really can't tell anything about where a relationship will end up when you are in the thrills of seduction.

*This post is brought to you by our red wine blend Diavolo, because all break-ups feel like the devil.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery family!
www.VivacWinery.com