Suspicions

Yep, being in love is tricky.

Running and I had fallen into a comfortable routine when out of nowhere I started having suspicions. This is a tricky time in a relationship, you have determined that you are in love, but is it reciprocated? If you start thinking about it, you start questioning, if you start questioning you start having suspicions and suspicions are never good.

I was traveling to an area that was hot & humid, not my typical running climate, but like I said, my relationship with Running is different this time (see blogs "Back From a Break-up" & "Are You Jealous?"). So I saddled up and went on a date with Running as soon as I arrived.

Out on the open road amongst the lush green forests, I felt good, solid in our relationship and even giddy with how well it was going. Running and I really had started over with a clean slate. The rolling hills and blooming flowers only confirmed how wonderful our relationship was and my iPod shuffled to Sade.

The following day I couldn't make my date with Running and had to cancel, it hurt me to do so, but I had family responsibilities. While my family supports my relationship with Running, they can sometimes feel neglected due to the amount of time Running takes up.  The only problem is I had to cancel our date the day after that too.

Running always seems fine when you cancel, takes it in stride. But by the 3rd day, I knew I had pushed it. My date on that 3rd day after 2 days off made aches and pains I hadn't felt in a long time resurface. It wasn't bad, but it was a definite sign...Running was pissed at me. I tried to reason away the missed dates, but Running stays silent, waiting till you are vulnerable to kick you in the knee...or hip...or foot. Even the bunny rabbits that played so cutely on the side of the road, stopped and came toward me, poised as if to attack, little rabid bunnies who obviously took Running's side. I yelled "You don't know everything! Don't judge me you little bunny rabbits!", I could see my relationship with Running was reaching that tricky love stage. I started to have suspicions. I started to wonder if in a blink of an eye, we would be back to that place that drove us to break-up before. I could see I looked totally nuts yelling at animals.

Suspicions are what drive a wedge deep into a relationship, they require you to believe your thoughts rather than facts. Running showed me at that moment, the moment where I almost kicked a little bunny rabbit, that this suspicion was an old thought from the way we use to be. The fact was, this was a great run and the aches subsided. I realized my fear about our relationship and the ideas about how I thought it should, would or could go were going to cause damage to our new found love.

I felt a huge shift as I realized that letting go of the suspicions and allowing myself to enjoy what this is now is the only way to be in a relationship.

Now the problem is, I don't think Running likes my best friend Wine as much as I do.

*Today's blog is brought to you by our Rosé of Dolcetto, because you have to have a great chilled wine to suffer in great heat and humidity.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.vivacwinery.com