Knowing When to Ask For Help

I've decided that since I have zero motivation and even less willpower, I need professional help. I decided to call in the big guns, my friend Bridget who says her profession is as a personal trainer/ nutritionist, but I am pretty sure she is actually G.I. Jane.

Immediately my friend jumped into action and sent me a daily workout detail and meal plans. She had to send it to me because she lives a safe distance away (6 hours)  in Las Cruces, New Mexico. This woman's body is waaaaayyyy too intimidating to have her train me in person. My cellulite would cry and tremble with despair simply having her in the same room.

I have to admit, I am a wee bit scared...but as you all know from reading this blog over the years, I only seem to accomplish my goals when I am fearing for my life. So, I have been working out (I'm in prep for the scary week next week) and I actually ate tuna fish seasoned with jalapeno, lime juice and pepper, with a side of cucumber slices and carrots. This may sound normal to some of you, but for those that know me well, they will be shocked by this information. The only thing I hate more than tuna fish, is vegetables. Shhhhh... don't tell my son, because I make him eat vegetables. I don't make him eat tuna fish because he literally throws up when he tastes the texture of meat and fish... and I have to clean that up. I should mention that I might, however, actually have a serious allergy to working out, we are looking into it. I feel like I may need extra wine to choke this all down. Oh yes, she is letting me keep my wine. She might be scary in shape, but I am a monster if someone tries to step between me and my wine (imagine the mom saving her baby by lifting the car...only that would be me getting to my wine).

So there you have it, G.I. Jane and I are going to tackle this project and separate my butt from my thighs.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

New Year, New You...or Maybe Not

New Year's Eve...some people's heaven, other people's hell.

Are you one of those people that on New Year's Eve writes a list of all the things you will change in your life with the new year? Did you formulate strategies on how to accomplish all your new goals? Did you promise to start 2016 with working out, eating right and saving the planet?

I sure as hell didn't. I drank a ridiculous amount of wine, ate a big plate of birthday brownies in honor of the birthday girl who couldn't make it to her own party and lied about resolutions. I said I'd make changes, but clearly my flabby, lazy butt likes the sofa better than that horrific word "exercise".

When New Year's Day was rang in, the party was at a glorious roar, clearly the time for outrageous statements that include words like "Marathon" or "weight loss"  and glorified ideas of the future (meaning you think you will suddenly have willpower and motivation simply because the date changed). By the time the day was more in focus, I had a glaring headache and the call of the great outdoors was more like a horror movie scream. There was no way I was leaving the comfort of the cabin in which we were cuddled up in. And in fact a mimosa would be mandatory. And what of those glorified statements about running and getting fit? Well, they would have to wait till Sunday. Sunday is such a good day to start new things isn't it? It sets the tone for the entire week and sets you right. Yes, Sunday would be the 1st day of the new me of 2016!

You know what sucks about Sundays? It is the end of the vacation, it is the signal that the work week looms. It is NOT a day for exercise. In fact if you are a football fan, it is distinctly meant for Bloody Mary's and hot wings. And I am a football fan.

Mondays are busy with back to work routines and Tuesdays just suck so WEDNESDAY it is. Wednesday is the start of the new me in 2016 and it will be epic!

Now to find a glass of wine in order to cheers myself on how awesome I will be starting Wednesday.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Hating the Hate

What is the story that is ruining your life? What is the story that you believe so deeply, you see it as truth?

Often it is painful and difficult to look at these stories and question them, as if they are a childhood blanket that you need to insulate you from the world. Only the funny thing is, it is your story that is keeping you from experiencing the joys of the world.

My story (one of the many) is that my body should be better than it is. When I was younger, I scrutinized over every bump, lump and imperfection. Now approaching 40, I would give anything for those imperfections. I struggle to find the beauty in my aging body. I recently found myself saying to a friend that my body was better post baby than it is now. But 'post baby' was almost 10 years ago! Shouldn't I be able to see the progression as natural without wanting to change it? Shouldn't I be able to look in the mirror without uttering moans of disgust?

I have to take a moment to complain, because...that is what I do well. I realize that I am more fit than some and thinner than some, but regardless of your size or health, we can all agree that there is always something you tweak over right? Mine is my butt and upper thighs. I hated my lack of butt when I was younger, but the fact that what little I had has slid down into the cellulite on the back of my thighs, I down right loath it. When I get out of the shower and glimpse the horror of my backside, I morph into a replica of Edvard Munch's painting "The Scream".

So, if we examine this story I have and ask if it true, my answer is "uhhhh...yes! You should workout more and eat better so your butt finds its proper placement!" but this isn't helpful. And when I really take a deep breath and look at this story, I know that being incredibly hard on myself for the way my body looks is ridiculous. I see the older women at the gym walk around completely naked and secure in their bodies. Their skin sags and their lumps roll and their imperfections fade away. When I see these confidant women, I don't see flaws, I see beauty. Each body is unique and tells a story of their lives, the children they have had, the hardships and the struggles as scars caress their curves. And as I rethink my thinking, I see that my insecurities around how my body looks, actually makes me behave in a shielded, unconfident way that ironically, is what is ugly.

Maybe what the truth is, is actually the opposite of our stories. Maybe the pain we cause ourselves is literally all in our heads. Maybe detaching from the story we believe so deeply can give us exquisite freedom to really live, really feel, really enjoy the world around us.

I am trying to workout more. I am trying to eat healthy (sometimes, but hey sometimes is better than never). But the BIG thing I am going to do, is stop believing in the story that my body should be better than it is. After all, when I am 70 I'm going to envy the imperfections I have now, so I might as well enjoy what I've got while I've got it.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com