Trial and Error

I think most of us can agree that 2016 was a train wreck of a year. It was filled with death and loss and fear and worry and pain and sadness. My health continues to hang in the balance, nothing significantly changing. But as we creep out of the darkness of the 2016 shadow, I have the tingling sensation of hope.

Hope is a scary concept. Each twist and turn that brings me to a new specialist or new test can tease me with a little hope, then smash me like a car crash with the reality. You see, the test results don't definitively show that brain surgery is the very best treatment. And they want to be 120% sure that is the only way to go. Makes sense. Brain surgery scares the shit out of me. Living the rest of my life like this however, is far scarier.

So what next? Well, you know that saying "trial and error"? Seems we will take that approach. We will do a trial run of a medication that is actually used to treat something completely different than what I have, but a SIDE EFFECT of said drug, is suppression of cortisol production (and that seems to be the asshole in my body making such a mess). If it works, and my symptoms are alleviated, then it will be the definitive proof that surgery needs to happen. If I don't get better or have an adverse reaction to the medication...we are back at square one. I am terrified to let myself give way to hope.

The increasing symptoms and my intense discomfort had me screaming YES to try this drug, even though it is really hard on the liver...and the thing I love most, wine, is hard on the liver...meaning no alcohol for the entire 12 weeks. Zero, zip, ziltch. For 12 weeks. I shall be blogging about this experience as I imagine I will have a great deal of complaining to do.

I'll be starting the meds after Christmas, allowing myself the enjoyment of a couple exceptional bottles of wine with family as we celebrate the end of this God forsaken year.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com