Personal Train This

My gym offers a free session with a personal trainer. It should have come with a warning.

I've never met with a personal trainer, unless you count the time I worked out with my friend Gabrielle who was a personal trainer at that time...she too should have come with a warning label. There is a reason why that woman has 0% body fat and a body made for the cover of Fitness or Shape magazine. I couldn't walk or cross my legs without assistance for 4 days after that workout.

Today's training session should have had a different type of warning, a may-be-hazardous-to-your-self-esteem warning. I must admit, the morning had started out rough so maybe I was more sensitive than usual. My son is now going to a new school that requires a commute so we have to get up really early. Some people are morning people, some people simply accept what they need to do, some people adjust to getting up early. I am not some people. I hate waking up with an alarm. I hate getting out of a warm bed. I hate waking up my young son from a deep sleep to be yelled at because he doesn't want to get up either. We are quite the 'morning monsters' my son and I.

Once in the car, we usually seem to settle ourselves into what the day will bring. Today, however, I only had one cup of coffee and I could sense that my cooping skills weren't at peak performance.

I don't know what I thought I was going to find out at the free personal training session, maybe I had hoped this person would have some magic answer for me...maybe I was hoping he would say "Yes, you can continue being a lazy lump and eat nachos at 9:00 at night and by simply paying for this gym membership, you will become a swimsuit model". I'll save you the suspense, he did NOT say that and that is when the lack of coffee kicked in.

A battery of difficult questions berated me... "What are your weight goals? When do you like to work out? How often are you working out now? How is your diet? What weight training do you incorporate? ..." blah blah blah. I sheepishly tried to answer these personal jabs disguised as questions and realized I was going to have to lie. When do I LIKE to work out??? Uhhhh...uhhhhh...is this a trick question? I don't LIKE to work out! "Morning" I replied. WOW, really? Me, the lady who hates to get out of bed, just told this guy I liked to work out in the morning. Great start.

After a few more minutes of trying to suck in my stomach fat to flatten out my latex shirt, this guy looks me up and down and says "How old are you? I'd guess about 36." I was super impressed and said so to which he admitted that my birth date was in the file. Was this suppose to be funny? Ahhh great, I got a jokester.

Then Mr. Funny Man stopped being funny. That creep made me get on the scale. Ya, I know, can you believe it?! I think all the color went out of my face. But before I knew it I not only knew my weight, but I also knew my fat percentage. Lets just say I am noooooooooo where near my friend Gabrielle's percentage. After that complete blow to my psyche, he made me do exercises. Hello, I need counseling after that news not torture!

Did I mention that he also took my phone from me? He said it would be a distraction. Creep.

After a sad workout (it's difficult to run or lift weights when you are depressed) I took my soggy self to the car and cried.

I don't think I like personal training.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

Getting Back Together With My Ex

Going back to an ex is always a little weird. There are all the reasons why they are an ex in the 1st place, then the curiosity to see if they have really changed like they promote catches your attention. I didn't mean to fall back in with my ex, it just happened.

Now that my son is going to a new school, which requires a 30 minute commute each way, I found myself killing time in the town I grew up in. Memories are plentiful in my home town, some good, some not so good. Memory lane being what it is, it makes sense that given enough time, I might resort to old habits...and sure enough, I did.

It started as a need to keep my mind off of obsessing over my young son who was not just starting at a new school, but skipping a grade which made him considerably younger than his classmates...and he is my only child...cue OCD behavior. Distraction was definitely what I needed.

At 1st I did things like walk in the park, innocent and clearly not exciting enough of an activity. I started looking around for more action. In a small town your options aren't that varied so when I heard that my ex had gone through a "face lift" of sorts, been spruced up, found some ways to improve, I couldn't resist. Who can fault me for wanting to take a peek?

The 1st meeting was strange. A combination of all the familiar things rushing back and a sense of being out of my element. It was weird. I left feeling clear that I wasn't the same person I had been when we were together, but who was I? I felt old and lost.

A few days later and the run in with my ex was haunting me. I decided I needed to see how wrong my ex was for me by looking around. What? There is no harm in looking!

I found a few interesting options and decided to "explore". Option 1 was dark, moody and not that friendly. Option 2 was odd to say the least...and surrounded by incredibly old women...and smelled funny. Option 3 was unprofessional and I just can't stand that. Option 4 was dead. Yep, that option that sounded too good to be true was just that, it was so great it was gone.

So...I started fantasizing about my ex. It is amazing how once a thought enters your mind, you find ways to rationalize it. My mind worked quickly in this manner and the next time I dropped my son off at school, I drove immediately to my ex.

After seeing what else was out there, being with my ex seemed the best option. Things seem different this time, fresh somehow. It is the support I need right now, the distraction from obsessing over my son that I need. I had promised I would start training for that race I'm signed up for in October and I still haven't! I am so damn lazy...I need my ex to help me get through this. I need the flexible hours, personal trainers, new treadmills and steam room. I need the gym I loved so dearly all through high school!

Yes my friends, I have once again joined the gym. The same gym that sucked all my extra cash. The same gym that started to demand more and more of my time. The same gym that made me feel bad for each and every date I canceled on. All I can say is that I hope getting back together with my ex is a healthier endeavor this time around.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!