Diet? What Diet?

I'm starting to wonder if I should have named this blog "Complainie Complainerton". But then that is half of what all of you seem to love... at least your private messages to me say that; you are a shy group! So why make excuses, let's get this complaining party started!

Crush is heavy under way (the time when we get grapes coming in from all the vineyards and wine making starts) which coincides with huge fun filled wine festivals and events. During this time, we are exhausted, excited and stressed. So of course I decided that NOW was the time to really kick my butt and start a diet. I mean why head into your busiest time and be easy on yourself? No, no, why not add a complex diet to your stress load so you can intermittently fail and add hating yourself to the fun? Clearly that is the correct choice.

You thought I was already on a diet from reading my previous posts didn't you? See? I'm a spaz! I was and then realized that I suck at dieting. I hate meal prepping. I hate cooking so spending a full day cooking all the crap, I don't want to eat, for the week sounds like torture. Not to mention I drink when I cook so that leads to a tipsy lady by the end of the prep day. In an effort to be safe, I cut out dealing with sharp objects and fire and just sat on the sofa and drank. No prepped meals, but soooo much more enjoyable AND I believe me when I promise to eat 'right' all week.

Every single weekend, as I sit on the sofa and drink wine, I also promise to workout all week. They talk about "beer goggles", well I think I have "wine-exercise goggles". Every time I have a couple glasses of wine, I think I am going to train for the Olympics the next day. Guess what? I don't. In fact, I am not even doing very well keeping up with my Physical Therapy exercises. I know, it is pathetic. And to end your curiosity, I do NOT eat 'right' during the week.

I am also not surrounded by much support. My talented winemaker husband MAKES me taste new wines. Famous Guest Chef's to our events MAKE me taste their special dishes. Travelling winemakers from prestigious wineries around the world MAKE me taste their award winners. Friends with free tickets to specialty events MAKE me go eat lobster and fried oysters and duck and little delightful pastries and then wash it down with the world's very best wines! I mean, really it is a cruel cruel world when you are trying to diet.

Needless to say a friend recommended a lazy person's option with protein shakes and limited calorie meals. I decided if I ever wanted to take this 'brain tumor weight' off, I needed to do it before I got so comfortable with my humpty-dumpty shape, I stopped seeing it.  I immediately lost weight and felt good on the diet! I felt so great about it, that I decided I was invincible and attended some of the aforementioned events.  It started slow with a work event and a few sips of wine, I skipped the enticing food and felt I'd escaped fairly unscathed! I was a dieting badass. Next was the event with friends where I decided calories didn't count, boy was that a fun day! Clearly less of a badass day. And then finally I closed the week with an event that had lots of wine, lots of phenomenal food and ended with tequila shots and a bowl of pita chips. That day was zero badass and 100% dumbass. Amazingly, I didn't loose any weight that week.

"Enough woman!" I screamed into the empty wine bottle. The next day I got right back on my shake train and vowed to kick this pudgy butt to the curb. It's going pretty well too. All I have to do to stay away from delicious food and choose to eat vegetables, say no to the beautiful ruby liquid of the Gods and just drink water...is to go to bed at 7:00pm. It is really amazing how much willpower I have when I experience the world from the other side of a locked bedroom door, wearing an eye mask and ear plugs.

* This post is sponsored by all my scorned lovers: Vivac Malbec, Vivac Aglianico, Vivac Refosco

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com