Bashing: America's Favorite Pastime

Last Sunday I fell and bashed my head onto our concrete floor. The mild concussion from the incident meant no running...all week. Talk about a blow (no pun intended) to my training. Funny how if I feel like being lazy and not running it is no big deal, but take running FROM me and I'm pissed! Anyway, the severe headaches and inability to concentrate left me in bed pondering many things. Everything was under inspection...relationships, what I want my life to look like, work...you name it. Part of the pondering was simply looking at things differently, standing back to see events or interactions without attachment or judgement, and it was interesting what stood out to me.

People love to bash things, people, places, anything. People love to complain and get others to see their point, yell as loud as they can that they are right and they have been wronged. I realize how ironic it is that I type these words on a blog known for complaining...but hang in there with me. It seems like the prevalent tone these days is seeing the negative and making sure everyone hears about it. I get it, I'm a complainer too, but for once it stood out clearer than just the daily blah blah blah. The ingrained sense of 'I'm right' and the destruction that it can cause.

This past week was intense. Not only did I bash my head, but my son is suffering from migraines and nausea brought on by anxiety. He is only 8 and the news is tough for us to take, we are those kind of parents that want to protect our child from everything...yep he is an only child...yep we know we can't actually protect him from everything. But what was surprising is the amount of feedback from people that want to bash the school or teachers or us! We weren't sharing this information with people in order to hear their rude opinions. Why do you need to bash our parenting to make your point?

Then we had an incident with an employee and a customer. Our employee was attached to 'being right'. The dreaded public outrage cried out over Facebook and it went from a person voicing their understandable frustration to personal attacks. I have a pretty thick skin when it comes to stuff like this and the winery, this is my domain, my job at the winery and I sooth those that are upset when needed, but for my winemaker husband and my winemaker brother-in-law it was very personal. I wondered, would these people say these things to the hard working winemakers that put their heart and soul into these wines if they were face to face? Where does it cross the line from opinion to cruelty? When did people start thinking they didn't need to be held accountable for their actions just because it is out on social media? We are holding our employee accountable for her actions so shouldn't those now being out of line do the same?

As we approach Thanksgiving and the Holidays, you would think people would be focused on kindness, but instead social media is inundated with bashing. Even a "Gluten Free Recipes for Thanksgiving" post by a popular magazine was strewn with hateful comments about people that are gluten free! Really people, I should "go suck a big fat one" because I am among those that are not celiac yet feel ill when I eat wheat? Really, the decline of our society is due to my "annoying" eating habits? Why don't you just ignore it and go on your merry wheat eating way? Why the bashing?

So this Holiday season, don't forget that our voices carry weight. There are real people receiving your messages and lives being impacted. People with hopes and dreams, fears and worries; people trying to make it day to day and care for their families. Maybe we can each consider being a little more forgiving, a little more understanding and bash a little less?

I even promise to step it up and use my own words more constructively. When I complain about running...which I hope to be back up and doing starting tomorrow, I will focus on the benefits of what I'm doing and stop bashing the activity itself. After all, running is just a thing that is available for me to do, it isn't running's fault that I don't like it. Even if I feel I am right for hating it.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

If You Have Nothing Nice to Say...Come Sit Next to Me.

I have to say I continue to be a little surprised by how much feedback I get about this blog. I had no idea people liked to hear me hate running so much, until I took this recent 4 month sit-on-my-butt-and-do-nothing vacation. People have come out of the woodwork asking me to start running again so the blog could get back to what I do best...complaining. So here you go my peeps...

Monday I actually started my new training. I set out on that brisk morning feeling inspired (or maybe it was fear), but as you can imagine, the 4 months of nothing felt very heavy as I heaved my body down the road. I finished the run and did NOT lay on the floor crying... so all in all, it was a successful 1st run.

Tuesday morning I woke to a screaming body. My legs burned and twitched in pain with every move. Even my abs were sore. That day's run was a little scary. It took most of the run to warm up and have a bit more ease to my gate. So, not only was the run painful, I also ran like a jerk because all my coordination went out the window when my body seized up. The podcast I listened to that day was about all the suicides off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco...very fitting.

Wednesday, I couldn't move. My lovingly mean husband/ coach looked amused when I said I couldn't run that day. Evidently taking the day off was not an option. He said I at least needed to walk. I would have kicked him, but my legs wouldn't move.

I did as I was told and geared up for a run. I opted for the treadmill since I feared a run out on the road would leave me stranded somewhere unable to get home after my legs broke off my body and I lay there with bloody stumps, my dismembered pieces strewn about me. I made it 1 mile. Ya, no joke. I have gone from my last training with long runs of 16 miles to a pile of mush after 1 mile. I almost decided to pour myself a glass of wine to deal with the blow to my psyche. But instead I decided to punish myself with some cross training exercises.  As sweat dripped down my face and I shook from the exertion, I imagined how happy my "coach" would be to see me suffering like this.  He is a sick sick man.

Today I rest, tomorrow is my long run. The training schedule will ramp up my miles quickly to get me to the point where I can start on the "serious" runs, but I can't look ahead, I can't think about it, I have to simply take each day and do my best. If I give myself even a moment to look at this training and what I will have to do, I may actually end up on a certain bridge in San Francisco.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com

I'm Baaaack!

You know the shower scene with the iconic musical score that is the film "Psycho"? That was the sound of me putting on my running shoes this morning.

YES, I finally went for a run.

It was horrible.

I decided, over a glass of wine (how I always get sucked into stupid plans), that I would start training and in fact run the race in the spring I have been considering. This means I had to count backwards from the race date an appropriate number of weeks for training. I found out I am WAY out of shape and need to already be running 16 mile long runs. This is not good. But as my coach (AKA my husband) eagerly cheered me on and planned my training, he also encouraged me to buy new running shoes...you can get me to do just about anything if new shoes are involved. I can't help it, it is a disease. So this morning I had no other choice but to go on my 1st training run. Ouch.

Many people, mostly avid runners, say 'oh man I really haven't been running!' but that means they have been running, but not training, so they are in a loop of shorter runs. When I say I haven't been running, I mean it...I HAVE NOT BEEN RUNNING. Nothing, no exercise at all, for 4 months. I know, it is totally gross. You can imagine how painful today's run was in light of this information. I think I have blood pooling in my lungs.

As I ran, I was thinking about the great things people do, not because I was inspired, but because the podcast I was listening to was droning on about it...I'm not that creative when I'm close to a heart attack. I felt like such a looser, people are out there changing the world and I can't even go out for a short run. In fact now I'm also mad that I let myself completely quit and become a tub of lard. My knee might even be hurting. I suck at running. Maybe this is the dumbest idea ever, who do I think I am jumping into training like this?

I finished the run, quite the feat with my loathsome self talk.

Now as I am writing to all of you... I  am eating cold pizza (hey I had to reward myself for running didn't I?) and staring at the most daunting training schedule I have approached yet. I am officially training for Cedro Peak's 45K Ultra Marathon.

I hope there is enough wine on the planet to get me through this.

-Cheers from the Vivác Winery Family!
www.VivacWinery.com